A woman I had just met in a caffe offered to buy me a drink. In the states, when someone you don’t know offers to buy you a drink, they usually want something in return, if only your time and attention. And in our culture, someone buying you something when you are giving them nothing in return often causes the receiver guilt.
To complicate matters, I don’t drink alcohol, which is not especially extraordinary in America, but seems much less common in Italy where wine can be seen at most every meal. When I tried to politely refuse the drink, the woman first seemed confused, then slightly offended.
On the cultural mismatch model, I was in letter C - culture. While widespread consumption of alcohol is overt, Italians' understanding of how to respond when someone offers you something is much more covert. I wanted to do anything but offend my new friend, but I could not completely compromise my own cultural (and religious) standard.
My solution was to thank her again, explain that while I didn’t drink alcohol, I would love a gelato! She quickly agreed and we continued our conversation.
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