by Rita Creel
I decided to go shopping in Cagli on one of our free days, figuring I could select some gifts for friends and family while practicing my Italian. Mostly, I found the merchants friendly and helpful. I struggled with my Italian but managed to avoid verbal miscues, so at the level of language, I didn’t discern any disconnects. However, I did encounter disconnects at the cultural level.
First, I noticed that if they’re not busy, shopkeepers often pop next door to visit a neighboring shopkeeper, leaving their own establishment unattended. So when I walked into a bag and suitcase store and found I was alone, I wasn’t too surprised—I’d seen two women chatting a short distance down the street and figured one was probably the shopkeeper. I browsed for a good ten minutes before she walked in and offered assistance. A bit later, in a shop filled with knickknacks, jewelry, and assorted casual clothing (mostly made in India, I think), I noticed a cell phone lying on a table by the door. The shopkeeper walked in, headed to the back of the store, and returned to the front. As she was walking back out the door, I pointed to the phone, thinking a shopper might have left it. “Questo?” I asked, and pointed to the phone and then her—my attempt to ask, “Is this yours?” She laughed and nodded. I attributed these behaviors to a cultural difference that’s perhaps as much a product of the rarity of theft in Cagli, a small town, as it is of the Italian culture. I also wondered whether theft is less common because of the safety net family provides here—families take care of their own, so if someone’s unemployed they have a place to sleep and food to eat. And also, maybe you don’t want to bring shame on the family by stealing.
After these experiences, I was surprised when I felt one shopkeeper’s intense gaze as I browsed kitchen goods, linens, and art in another store. The owner matched my steps, following me and turning as I turned. In the States I might have left the store but here in Cagli, I tried not to take it personally. I didn’t touch anything and even put my hands behind my back—which I hope didn’t send an unintended nonverbal message! Soon, the shopkeeper was lifting various items, describing them to me, and encouraging me to handle them. He was really quite nice and I enjoyed talking with him. Still, he never strayed far from my side. At first, I thought it was an idiosyncratic trait of this shopkeeper but then in class, Dr. Caputo mentioned that Italian merchants used to keep their goods behind glass, so you could look but not touch. Maybe this behavior is a cultural holdover from that time, with the vigilant shopkeeper taking the place of the glass.
Finally, at the little grocery store near the Piazza, two shoppers cut in front of me in line. No one said anything. I thought that maybe I’d done something wrong on one of my prior visits and this was my penance (mi dispiace, mi dispiace). Then, Dr. Caputo showed us the film Europe and Italy, and I took note of the segment illustrating Italians cutting in line. Now I wonder whether the two shoppers were in a hurry and just decided they needed to go first!
In summary, at the level of language, I didn’t experience any disconnects on this excursion; concerning non-verbal communication, I wondered whether putting my hands behind my back sent some sort of signal I was oblivious to (I actually wonder just how many nonverbal signals we students send); I detected cultural differences in each of the shops; and I am still weighing whether or not my experience in the kitchen and linens shop was a cultural disconnect or an example of idiosyncratic behavior.
Reference
Caputo, J.S. ( 2002). Chapter 12, Interpersonal Communication in a Global Village: Issues of Culture and Gender. In J.S. Caputo, Hazel, H.C., McMahon, C. & Dannels, D. (2002). Communicating effectively: Linking thought and expression. Dubuque, IW.: Kendal-Hunt Publishing.